Misplaced Pirate
by Mayorst
Summary: What happens when a pirate is misplaced-perhaps in the 21st century...? Rating based on movie...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Captain Jack Sparrow nor the Black Pearl nor any part of Pirates of the Caribbean as much as I would like to!

A/N: This is my first Jack fic,and first time posting here so reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks you! Hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!

Chapter One

His eyes were rolling up into his head, but he continued to guzzle the remainder of the sweet liquid in the large brown bottle. After Jack had finished the bottle of rum, he passed out with a large smile spread across his handsome face. He was sprawled out on his bed in his cabin with his back against the headrest and his chin resting on his chest, the two braids of his beard spread across his bare chest. One of the many pendants in his hair hung down past the crimson sash in his hair and was resting just below his eyebrow, almost touching his eye. He was fully clothed with his thin white shirt halfway buttoned, black vest over that, sash tied over that, and light brown leather belt cinched around _that_. He also had on his gray pants with his brown boots that went nearly up to his knees crossed at the ankles. His body was rocking along with the sway of the ship. He was the captain of the ship-the notorious Black Pearl.

He slept quite hard-all through the night and into the next morning. He was awakened by a large wave that crashed against the ship. He fell to the floor with a "thud."

"Brrrr!" he shivered, his eyes shut tight.

The floor of his cabin, felt so cold and-wet! He shifted and felt how uneven the floor felt and how lumpy it was, which was quite odd considering the floor was wood… He opened one eye and blinked in the brightness. It seemed as if everything was-white! He frowned in confusion-his head was spinning. He closed his eyes and clasped his head to stop the spinning. After a moment, he opened his eyes again. He was lying on his back staring into the bright warm sun, yet his back felt as if it were frozen…He looked out of the corners of his eyes, and seeing no movement sat up. His movements were slow so as not to upset his already throbbing head.

He looked around at everything covered in white and thought aloud. "Is ol' Jack dead? Are ye in heaven mate?"

He put his hands before him to examine. They _looked_ real…He pointed one of his fingers and slowly brought it closer to one of his eyes. It kept coming closer and closer and closer until…

"Oh!" Jack jumped as he poked his eye. He clamped his hand over the eye that was now tearing. "Well I'm not dead…but where am I?"

Only then did he notice the shadow that fell near him. He looked up at the sign. One thing Jack wasn't was a scholar-but he could make out words-somewhat!

"Wel-co-me…to…Loo…goo…tee…Indi-Indian-Indian-a."(Loogootee, Indiana is a true city…) He pronounced each syllable with the most concentration. He scratched his head, his charms jingling. "What 'ave you gone an' gotten yerself into this time Sparrow?" he spoke aloud to himself.

He had no idea where he was. It was some strange land he'd never heard of before. He'd heard of many a pirate coming in contact with an Indian, but he'd never heard of the land Indian… 'Or maybe the _land_ is what the pirates met…' He thought pulling at the braids of his beard thoughtfully.

His bum was beginning to grow rather numb from the coldness of the white stuff that covered every surface around him. He was quite suspicious of the stuff and gathered a freezing handful and brought it to his face and sniffed it. It had no smell whatsoever. He shrugged his shoulders and took a bite of the handful. It wasn't bad, but just as it had no scent, it had no taste as well. He let the ball of white fall to the ground as he stood up swaying slightly.

As he stood up, he felt the biting north wind hit his bare chest. He shivered and pulled the flaps of his shirt together. He couldn't button it closed because the buttons were missing-thanks to a few of his rather impatient lady friends… A cocky grin began to flit across his face as he thought of the women that might be on this new land. Just then, he saw movement. Jack's eyes widened in shock as he observed the most outrageous creature he'd ever seen. It was not much taller than his chin and it was bright orange, and rather round… She-for it must have been a female-had the most beautiful face Jack had ever seen a woman have…She had the palest skin with high delicate cheekbones and the brightest blue eyes he'd ever seen. He could not believe that such an odd being could have such a lovely face that was just barely seen peeking out of the orange blob.

She was moving at a steady pace, but slowed a bit when she saw him. She gave him a curious look. She looked at him as if he were the one that looked odd. But when Jack's dark lined eyes met hers, she quickly averted her ice blue eyes and sped up, continuing at a faster clip than she was when she'd first came into view.

Jack thought she was rather odd, yet interesting. Maybe that was just how these 'Indians' looked… He shrugged it off-it was nothing to worry himself with. He decided that the only way to warm himself up was to move. He began walking in the direction that the odd creature had gone. He was not accustomed to this sort of weather, having only been to England during the cold season only once before-yet it had never been this cold…

He kept walking-he didn't know how long he'd been walking, when he began to pass buildings. They were odd-looking things, tall with two stories (he'd never seen so many two story homes before) and two metal doorknobs, one with a tiny slot in them. He scrutinized all these new architectures with interest. Another thing that caught his eye were the bright trees in every window. They had blinking lights on their branches and brightly colored fruit hanging from them, as well as other odd looking fruits… Some even had the bright blinking lights outside.

Jack came to one particularly bright house with the blinking lights growing on the trees outside as well as a giant one inside the window. He stopped to stare at it for quite some time. He didn't realize how cold he'd gotten. It was below freezing and all he had was a thin layer of clothing that did nothing against the biting cold. As he stood watching the lights on the trees, his eyelids began to grow heavy and stiff.

As Jack fell to the ground, the front door of the house opened and a couple of children as oddly looking as the beautiful face had been stepped out. They looked at Jack… The boy let out a laugh when Jack fell face first into the snow, and the girl's eyes grew wide with terror.

"DAD!" They both shouted and ran back into the house leaving the front door open, as snowflakes began to fall…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two 

Jack had the oddest sensation-he felt so cold, yet he could feel immense heat. The pretty face of the 'orange ball's' floated through his mind, and he grinned widely.

"Look Dad! He's smiling!" a boy said.

Jack's smile fell into a frown. "Hmm?" he said gruffly opening first one eye and then the other.

Faces began to appear before him 4 of them to be exact…Jack's face puckered in thought. He began to move from one face to another in confusion. He blinked his eyes several times trying to clear this preposterous vision from before him. But it wouldn't go away.

"What's he doing Mom?" another voice, this one of a young girl.

"Hush Marie, let the man get his bearings."

Jack could now make out the faces-there were the two children who'd come outside just before he'd fallen…and there was a man and a woman, presumably the children's parents. Jack grunted as he attempted to sit up. He used quite a bit of effort, but could not raise himself on the oddly shaped bed… The man came closer and helped Jack into a sitting position. Jack felt as if his head were bobbing in the ocean and he lifted his hand to perhaps 'balance' himself.

The children giggled and Jacked looked at them curiously. 'Odd creatures…' he thought to himself. The girl's eyes were big and blue. When Jack looked at her and the boy intensely, her eyes got even bigger, and their giggles ceased.

" 'S not nice to laugh at a misfortunate." He said seriously with his rich accent.

The woman stepped in front of the children and spoke quite harshly. "And just who are you?" Her eyes were narrowed.

"Why-I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!" He gave one of his dazzling smiles.

Her heart skipped a beat at how sexy the man sitting on her couch looked. With blankets wrapped around his shoulders, the front of him wasn't covered and she could see his well-defined chest exposed from his unbuttoned shirt. His hair was long and dark and his eyes-she could definitely get lost in them. 'Yes,' She decided. 'His eyes are his best attributes-that I can see…' Attention was drawn to them from the black that lined them. Her stern face was growing quite soft and the ends of her lips were curling slightly into an unwilling smile. Her knees felt like jell-o as he took hold of her hand and kissed it ever so softly.

"And you would be…?" He asked smiling even more seductively.

"Me? I-my name is-my name is-."She bit back a laugh.

"Kate!" A gruff voice said.

Jack turned to his left and saw the man who'd helped him sit up step closer and look sharply at his wife. She looked up at her husband and seeing his look smiled sheepishly, her face flushing a bright scarlet. Then the man looked at Jack skeptically.

"Now then-tell me who are you-really?"

"I told ye!" he said. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow-most fearsome pirate alive!" He grinned cockily. Then he began to hack uncontrollably wheezing and gasping for breath.

"Doesn't seem so fearsome to me!" the boy scoffed peeking around his mother.

The man looked at Jack with a mixture of annoyance and worry. He didn't know who this stranger was, but he _had_ passed out in his yard. As Jack continued to cough and gag, the man ushered his wife and children out of the room.

"Kate, please take the children and um…make some cookies ok?" He told his wife pushing her towards the doorway of the room with the children following.

As the kids followed their mother into the kitchen, they looked over their shoulder at the funny looking man in their living room. Their dad gave them a stern look and they quickly hurried after their mother-the door into the kitchen swinging shut behind them. Only when his children had left the room, did the man return to Jack's side and stood there as he caught his breath.

Jack looked up at him, his once lively chocolate colored eyes looked black and dead like coal. "The lad's right you know…I'm nothin' without me ship…"

The man decided to play along with Jack-maybe he'd hit his head or something… "And where _is_ your ship exactly?" he asked.

"Back at the port…in the Caribbean." Jack looked up at him hopefully. "Are we far from it?"

The man was dubious about the truth of Jack's statements, but continued the little game. "The Caribbean? We're quite a ways away from it I'm afraid."

Jack's face fell. "Oh." He said then sat for a minute thoughtfully. "Well then where are we? Are we in Britain? Or wait-I know! We're in France-aren't we! I thought those architectures looked a bit odd. But if I'm this is France, it explains it!" Jack rushed on when he saw the look on the man's face. "Not implying anything sir!"

"Oh-no! Um-er-_Jack_-this isn't France… This is the United States of America."

"The Americas?" Jack's eyes grew wide in surprise. "I've 'eard about em…but never actually thought twas this civilized…"

The man's lips twitched. "What year do you think it is?"

"It is sixteen hundred and ninety four." Jack answered solemnly.

The man guffawed, but seeing the seriousness in Jack's face, his face straightened as well. "Uh-you honestly believe that it is 1694?"

Jack nodded. "I swear't on my grave!"

The man scratched his head. "I hate to be the one to break it to you-but you're not in the 17th century anymore…it's 2004, Mr. Sparrow."

Jack's face fell and he sunk back against the odd bed with the back. His eyes held the look of a frightened child, as he pondered his predicament.

"So how did I end up here in this century? I was sleepin' in me pride an' joy, the Pearl and woke up here…"

He jumped up shedding the blankets, and began to pace the room. His gait was unsteady and he swayed about. Startled, the man reached out to help Jack balance, only to find that Jack was quite steady, yet he was stumbling around as if he were drunk. 'Maybe that's it…maybe this is just some drunk who's this desperate for help…' But somehow Thomas Wakefield knew that this man was truly a pirate from the 17th century-and it made him, a grown man of 45-frightened…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

Tom thought it best to let Jack try to make sense of the situation-because he sure couldn't! Jack was still pacing a few moments later, when the door flew open hitting Jack square in the nose. Jack's eyes grew wide, and he fell backwards dramatically. Tom let out an agitated breath and quickly moved towards the injured pirate. The door slammed shut behind a teenaged boy who gave Jack a look of disgust before stepping over him, and disappearing up the stairs.

Jack's eyes were watering from the hit on the nose, but his eyes followed the boy up the stairs with curiosity. "What was that?" Jack asked looking up the empty staircase.

Tom sighed. "That would be Cody-my oldest son."

The sound of guitars and screaming could be heard from where the boy had disappeared. Jack's face had an even more confused look on it.

"What is that noise? What's he doing up there?" He sat up and looked around suspiciously.

Tom laughed. "It's just music. Cody's a bit-different…"

Jack frowned. "It sounds to me like a brawl…"

"It's called Rock 'N' Roll-or at least it was when I was a kid…" Tom said wistfully.

Jack pondered this new kind of music. It was quite different from the type he was accustomed to…He grinned a little thinking of the song Elizabeth had taught him. He began to hum absentmindedly. Tom looked at him curiously.

"Oh, so that song is that old? I mean-not that you're old or anything…" He hastily attempted to rephrase his question. "You know that song as well?"

Jack nodded. "A good friend of mine taught it to me…"

He scratched his head thoughtfully. His eyes grew wide as his hands spread across the top of his head. Tom watched with uncertainty.

"My hat! Where's my hat gone?" Jack jumped up and strode over to the couch, and pushed aside the many blankets, but still did not see his hat.

He frowned with worry. His hat was another thing he did not like to do without such as his ship… He thought back to when he awoke here in this strange land-America he was told. He didn't recall having it on…

He sunk down onto the couch heavily, and buried his face in his hands. He didn't cry, just sat there like he was hiding from something. Everything that was dear to him was in another time and place-300 years before him…

Tom felt sorry for the man who must have been not more than 10-15 years younger than him, almost a younger brother… He hoped that Jack truly was from another century, and not some runaway from the state hospital. He sighed heavily debating on what he was going to do about the 'pirate' in his living room. It was freezing outside, and the snow was piling up even higher than the 8 inches by the minute. It was nearly Christmas, and Tom believed that no one should be alone on Christmas. And Jack was very alone, everyone and everything he'd ever known was back in 1694-on some ship called the Black Pearl according to him…

Tom cleared his throat. Jack's face remained buried in his hands, so Tom cleared his throat a bit louder. Jack splayed his fingers, and peeked through them at him, and rose an eyebrow quizzically. Tom cleared his throat once again, this time nervously before he began to speak.

"Mr. Sparrow, seeing as you have no-uh-erm-family here in Indiana, I-we would be delighted if you'd like to stay with us until you return home. As I'm sure you know, Christmas is coming very soon, and my family's Christmas is a very traditional one, and you are welcome to stay for our celebrations as well…" He noticed a change in Jack at the mention of Christmas.

"You mean-like a party?" Jack let his hands fall to his knees, and his face was hopeful as a boy's might be on Christmas morn'.

"Um-well yes, I suppose-somewhat…"

Jack immediately perked up, a broad grin stretching across his face. "A party-I _love_ parties!"

"Ah-yes-well-um-let me take you to where you will be staying, and allow you to shower and put on some presentable clothes…I don't suppose you brought any along?" He looked at Jack reproachfully.

Jack looked down at his filthy rags of clothing, and looked back up at Tom sheepishly. "Sorry mate-tis all I've got…"

Tom nodded-it was as he suspected. "I believe your waist is very close to the size my oldest son wears, but I'm afraid they are quite-er-well as I said, Cody is a bit…different…" Tom frowned a little. "Come on then-I'll get you settled."

Jack followed Tom up the stairs looking at the framed family portraits that adorned the walls. He spotted pictures of the whole family: Tom, Kate, Marie, and the young boy, but he did not see any photographs of the mysterious Cody. He came to the most recent picture, and stopped to study it.

"This is a very good portrait-very life-like…" Jack had no knowledge of cameras or photography.

"Well, it's a photograph, Mr. Sparrow-I'll explain to you later." He said as they reached the top of the stairs.

They went to a door at the end of the hall, and Tom pushed it open to reveal a queen-size bed, chest of drawers, and a couple of nightstands. Jack looked around appreciatively, as well as curiously. It was much larger than his tiny cabin aboard the Pearl-nearly twice the size. He looked at the black box on top of the chest of drawers with fixed interest.

Tom noticed him staring at the T.V., and couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "That's a television." Jack nodded as if he understood him, but continued to stare at it.

Tom opened one of the two doors, and turned on a light. Jack looked at him amazedly. He cautiously approached the smaller room, where Tom was. He looked around at the odd contraptions. There was a counter with a porcelain bowl cut out with some sort of pipe sticking over it. There was also the toilet, which Jack thought was the oddest thing he'd ever seen…Tom showed him the bathtub, and how to work the shower by turning the two knobs.

"Go ahead and get into the shower, and I'll go find you some clothes."

Jack nodded, and Tom left the bathroom shutting the door behind him. Jack stripped his clothes and took off his bandana. He attempted to remove the trinkets from his dreadlocks, but after a few minutes, gave up, having tangled them more within his long dark locks. He stepped into the bathtub, and turned on the shower just as Tom had shown him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Tom was in a heated debate with his son when Jack's shout ricocheted throughout the house. Cody rolled his eyes as Tom hurried into the guest bedroom. He went down the stairs his feet stomping noisily. Kate came to the bottom of the stairs as he was descending, with a worried look on her face. This caused Cody to roll his eyes once again.

"What's wrong? What happened?" She asked.

"How should I know? My father's letting that _freak_ live here."

"What? What are you talking about Cody?"

"Why don't you ask my father _Kate_." He said glaring at her.

He was 17, and hung out with the "wrong crowd" as the adults liked to call his friends. They smoked and did drugs, and were just otherwise mischievous. Living in a small town, Cody and his friends' activities were pretty much known by all, so they didn't even attempt to hide it. Once someone in town saw something, 2 hours later-at the most-it would be back to the source, traveling through all the population of Loogootee.

Tom had seen the problems with Cody start when he'd begun to date Kate when Cody was about 7. He'd started to act up, demanding Tom's attention more and more as it grew serious between him and Kate. And the difficulties they had with him when they'd married had grown significantly worse. Cody's grades dropped, and when Brian-Tom's youngest son was born shortly a year later, Cody began to be suspended from school for fighting. Things seemed to mellow out after a few of years, but when he was 12, Marie was born. Things went swiftly downhill from there-he began to smoke and ran away several times, and then began to engage in sexual activities with girls. Tom tried to control him, but there was no way to do that, and he noticed that the less he tried to control him, the less rebellious Cody was.

Kate sighed and slid past Cody, and climbed the stairs. She reached the guest bedroom, where all the commotion was coming from. She put her ear against the door and listened to the voices within…

"First the bloody thing scalded me-then it nearly froze me-er-goods! The blasted contraption! How does one tame it?"

"Well it's best to wait until you get the temperature right before getting in…Here-look." He bent over the tub and turned the knobs until he got a warm spray going. "Is that warm enough for you?" He asked Jack.

Jack stuck his hand into the spray. "Well it's not freezing at least…"

"Look, if you turn this knob on the left a little bit, it will make it hotter," he did so. "And this knob on the left will make it cooler if it is too hot."

"But what if it changes of it's own accord?" Jack asked studying the spray of water warily. "I turned the knobs like you showed me, and then it changed all by its onesie…"

Tom bit back a laugh at the use of words the pirate used. "It will generally take a moment or two for the water to heat up, and then you adjust it _before_ getting in. I think it should be ok now, if you'd like to go ahead and get in."

Tom was going to leave and allow him the privacy to remove the towel from around his waist, but Jack was not one to be modest. He immediately dropped the towel and was bare before him. Tom was a bit shocked for he'd never seen anyone quite as immodest as Jack was proving to be…He tentatively stepped into the shower, and when the hot water hit him, he moaned in ecstasy, and closed his eyes, leaning back into the spray.

"Thas' much better…Thank you mate." Jack's eyes opened, and he grinned at Tom before pulling the curtain shut.

Tom shook his head in amusement as he shut the bathroom door behind him, and walked the distance to the door of the guest bedroom. He opened the door and walked through without stopping, barreling his wife down. He swooped down and caught her by the waist just before she hit the ground. She giggled as he kissed her.

"How's that for sweeping you off your feet?" He asked.

She laughed, but then her face grew very serious. "Cody says you're allowing that man to stay with us…?"

Tom placed her upright on her feet. "I feel a bit sorry for him… He's no way of getting home, and what with Christmas so soon…I thought he could celebrate with us."

"So you actually believe he's a pirate?" Kate asked dubiously.

"Well…"Tom didn't know what to say. "He's definitely not from around here…"

Kate sighed. "Tom, we don't know who this man is-and he's claiming he's from the 17th century…"

"Kate-I just don't know…I mean I can't just throw him back out there in the snow for Pete's sake!"

"Well I'm just saying you should've talked this over with me. You should have gotten to know him-."

She was cut off by the door opening, and a dripping Captain Jack standing there, in nothing but a skimpy towel wrapped around his "goods." Kate swallowed hard as she stared at the water dripping from his hair. It was trailing down his broad chest, following the ripples of his muscles. 'And what big muscles they are…' she thought licking her lips as she watched the water trail down the tiny bits of hair on his abdomen, and disappear beneath the towel. She swallowed again as her eyes rose from the towel to meet the deep golden eyes of the man. He smiled knowingly, and let his gaze travel her body, and back up to her eyes, before Tom cleared his throat.

"Ah yes," Jack turned to face him. "I did not see the attire you went to fetch me…"

"Oh-um-yes, just one moment…" He started to turn, but not hearing his wife move, he looked over his shoulder. "You'd better go check on the children-make sure they're not burning the house down…"

He waited until she started down the stairs, before he disappeared into Cody's bedroom. He dug around through Cody's messy drawers, and came up with a pair of briefs, and an old pair of blue jeans that Cody no longer wore. He only wore black, and this particular pair of jeans had not made it through the washer with the black dye along with the rest of Cody's wardrobe. He grabbed one of his many black sweatshirts, and hurried out of the depressing room.

Jack was lying back on the bed when he entered, with his chin resting on his chest and his ankles crossed. Tom thought he'd fallen asleep, but thought it odd that he was rocking slightly back and forth, back and forth, as if he were in a hammock. He crept into the room silently so as not to wake Jack, and set the clothes on the nearest nightstand. As he was shutting the door behind him, he looked once more at the pirate sprawled out in his guest bed. He chuckled in disbelief, and shut the door silently behind him.

When Jack heard the door shut, he opened his eyes somewhat dismayed to see that he was still in the Wakefield's house in the 21st century. Yet he could not deny the excitement he felt about this adventure. He was to begin this adventure with exploring his room. First he decided he would get dressed. It took him a little while of walking around in the room to get used to the heavy rough feel of the jeans, much different from the light itchy material of his own gray knickers…Once he grew accustomed to the odd feel of the jeans, he began to rifle through the drawers in search of gold, jewelry, or other such treasures. There was very little of interest to him in the drawers of the nightstands other than the rectangle with the rubber ovals.

He looked at the item with curiosity, feeling the rubber ovals. His fingers gently slid over them, sticking somewhat. Then he began to push them. He grew rather bored with it after a while, and tossed it behind him and continued to search through the drawers. He froze, and his body went rigid when he heard a voice behind him.

"On deck you scamprous dogs! Hoist the anchors!"

He turned around swiftly and looked with wide eyes in amazement at the box on the chest of drawers which was no longer black, but dancing with color…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five 

Jack very cautiously tiptoed towards the chest of drawers. When his face was inches away from the TV, he stopped. He stared at the television in wonder. When he saw an older pirate make his way across the old rickety deck of an ancient ship, he reached out and touched the screen.

"Aye, aye Cap'n!" the crew shouted.

Jack jumped back so far he fell back onto the bed. The shout from the pirate crew along with the shock he'd received from the electricity was so startling, several minutes later his heart was still beating frantically. He very slowly stood from the bed again and walked towards the TV again. The captain on the screen was treating a lady with disrespect and Jack did not like it.

"Hey!" he shouted. Jack grew irritated that the pirate was ignoring him so he shouted a bit louder. "Hey, you there! Stop that! S' not nice to take a lass against her wishes."

The pirate seemed to have heard Jack for he released the girl and went about his business. The girl sat down and cowered in a corner. Jack frowned and stepped even closer to the TV, the brightness of it burning his eyes, but he didn't seem to notice; he was intent on helping the girl.

"You all right luv?" He asked.

He reached out to touch her shoulder gently, and was once again shocked. He jumped again, but this time was not as surprised. He was although surprised that he did not feel the silky material of the girl's dress. Instead all he felt was a hard surface, like a wall. He stepped back to study the box before him. He sat down on the edge of the bed contemplating how the girl along with the rest of the world Jack knew was trapped inside the television. Or rather how _he_ was trapped _outside _of the television.

Hearing only silence from within the guest bedroom, the children began to whisper.

"What do you think he's doing in there?" Marie asked her older brother.

"Duh! He's talking to someone!" Brian said.

"But who-there's no one in there except him."

"I don't know! Maybe he's calling someone…"

"Do pirates know how to use the telephone?" Marie asked.

"I don't know…I don't think that they have telephones on ships…"

"But Jenny says that when her Mommy and Daddy went on a boat for vacation, they called her every night."

"That's because they have cell phones. Pirates don't have cell phones." Brian said knowledgably.

"How do you know that? I thought this is the first pirate you've ever met."

"Well-my teacher Miss Grayson says that pirates lived a long time ago and that cell phones are not as old as pirates."

"How old do you think he is?" Marie asked curiously pressing her ear to the door.

"I don't know-maybe a hundred and forty?"

Marie's eyes grew wide as she heard footsteps behind the door. "He's coming!"

They'd been sitting on the floor in front of the door, and they scrambled to their feet as fast as they could. Just as they stood, the door before them opened and there stood the pirate in all his glory-wearing blue jeans and a solid black t-shirt. His hair was wild about his shoulders and his trinkets were tinkling as his hair swayed from his movements. He looked down at the fearful children and smiled broadly.

"Actually…I'm only 33."

Marie's breath hitched as she bit back her tears. She didn't know why she was so frightened of the pirate-he looked quite harmless (especially in blue jeans), but nonetheless, she was frightened of him. She quickly turned and dashed down the stairs. Brian stood there a split second longer staring at the pirate in his new attire, then he followed his younger sister downstairs. Jack chuckled as they departed, then he decided he would follow as well. He needed to talk to Tom about the 'box' and how he was to get into it and back to the Pearl.

He followed his nose to the kitchen, the smell of sweets wafting through the air. He wasn't sure how to open the door-there was no doorknob. Very gently he pushed at the door, and watched, as it swung open. He jumped back in surprise as it continued swinging past the doorway towards him. Once it had swung back into the kitchen, he quickly slid in before the door swung back into the living room. He looked around and smiled at the Wakefields who were surrounding a tray of cookies. He walked surely towards them with his swaying gait.

He moved his hands making gestures as he spoke. "What've ye got here? Smells wonderful luv."

Kate's face flushed a light pink upon seeing Jack's body clad in snug fitting jeans and a t-shirt. "Oh it's nothing really, just sugar cookies. Kids, why don't you take these to the table and decorate them?" She said placing her hands on Marie and Brian's shoulders pushing them towards the table.

She grabbed a plate of freshly baked cookies in various Christmas shapes, and the tubes of red, green, and white frosting. As she got the children situated, she looked over her shoulder at her husband and Jack. Tom was showing him the next batch of cookies, which were still in the oven.

"See how they're still pretty white? That means they're not done. Once they start to turn a golden brown, then we know they're done. If you pull them out too soon, they won't be cooked, they will be doughy and squishy." Tom was explaining.

Jack looked at the cookies quizzically. Then before Tom could stop him, his hand was in the oven touching one of them. Jack immediately pulled his hand out yelping in pain. He stuck his fingers in his mouth looking like a child. Kate had rushed over having seen Jack's hand heading towards the oven. She quickly pulled his hand from his mouth and dried it with a dishrag. Then she got some aloe vera gel and gently rubbed it into his blistering fingertips.

Jack looked deep into her blue eyes. "Thank you luv…" He said it softly.

Tom cleared his throat, breaking their intimate eye contact. "I-um-forgot to mention that the oven tends to be hot when it is baking cookies…"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six 

"Will you excuse us please?" Kate said to Jack as she ushered Tom out of the kitchen through the swinging door.

Jack made a face and shrugged. Then he headed over to the table to see what the kids were up to. He saw them putting a sugary paste on the cookies. Brian was making his look like the brightly lit tree in their living room, and Marie was decorating one to look like a man with a long white beard and a red hat. Jack peered at the face closely, and then his face scrunched up in thought.

"What're ye makin' there luv?" He asked.

"I'm making a Santa Claus!" The five year old said the tip of her tongue sticking out of her mouth in concentration.

"And who would that be?" Jack asked confused.

Marie's eyes grew wide as she looked up and met Jack's eyes. "You don't know who Santa is?" She asked in bewilderment.

Jack shook his head smiling apologetically. "Sorry luv…"

Marie turned back to look at Brian in shock, and then she turned back to Jack. "Santa Claus is a jolly old man who wears all red, even a red hat," She gestured to her cookie. "Except of course his boots… Every Christmas he brings little boys and little girls lots of presents and fills their stockings that are hung above the fireplace."

"Only good little girls and boys." Brian piped in.

"I see…and how does this _Santa Claus_ know who's been good and who's been bad?" Jack asked puzzled.

"Well you see, he's got a list and he watches us…" Marie said biting her lip.

"So he watches you? Where's he at?" Jack asked as he spun looking all around.

"No stupid!" Brian rolled his eyes. "He's not _here_-he's at the North Pole!"

"Where's the North Pole?"

"That's not nice Brian! Santa's only going to give you a lump of coal this year!"

"Well if I get _one_ lump of coal, then he's gonna bring _you_ two!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jack waved his arms extravagantly. "Why would Santa only bring you kiddies coal?"

"Because that's what he brings stinky, nasty boys!"

"Because that's what he brings whiny, crybaby girls!" They both spoke at the exact same time.

They began to argue about who and why Santa brings coal, their faces growing red with anger. Marie was getting the sugary paste in her hair, and Brian was getting it on his shirt. Jack stood there watching them fight scratching his head. 'Such odd creatures children are…' He thought to himself. He also thought about the jolly man Marie and Brian were arguing about. Just then the kitchen door swung open, and Cody entered.

He stared at Jack in his clothes with annoyance, then shrugged and went to the fridge. He grabbed a Dr. Pepper and walked over to the table ignoring Jack.

"What are you two arguing about?" He asked irritably. They both tried to speak at once, but Cody held up his hand. "One at a time!" He said loudly. They both quieted, then Marie spoke.

"Brian said that Santa's gonna bring me 2 lump of coal!" Marie huffed.

"Well Marie started it! I wasn't even talking to her and she butted in and said that Santa was gonna bring _me_ a lump of coal!" Brian whined a bit as he spoke.

Cody made a sound that sounded like a snort. "Well I'll solve this!" He told them. "Brian-Santa's not gonna bring you a lump of coal nor is he going to bring you two lumps, Marie. Santa's not real! 'He' doesn't exist!" Cody laughed almost evilly as Marie's big blue eyes filled with tears.

"Tha-That's not true!" Brian attempted to say boldly, but it came out as a weak protest.

This made Cody laugh even harder, almost choking on his Dr. Pepper. Marie ran out of the kitchen in crying. Cody, still laughing left also. That left Jack and Brian with frosting all over his shirt in the kitchen. Brian lower lip was also quivering, but he held his tears back.

A few minutes later, Kate came into the kitchen, her face red with fury. She was closely followed by Tom who was much calmer. She stalked up to Jack and slapped him hard across the face.

Jack winced in pain. "Don't believe I deserved that…" He said looking at Brian who was trying to keep a straight face. 'Funny how it doesn't matter what century I'm in the women always slap me…' Jack thought to himself.

"What did you tell her?" Kate demanded.

"I didn't tell her nothin'…" Jack spoke softly, fearful of another slap.

"Now honey…" Tom said putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

She shrugged him off and spun around to face him. "Don't tell me not to drill him! Our daughter just came to me in tears! She was terribly upset and I want to know why!" She turned back to Jack.

Tom looked over her shoulder at Jack in defeat. "Honest-I didn't say nothin'!" Jack said.

"It was Cody!" Brian said from behind Jack.

Kate's eyes shot daggers as she stormed out of the room. They could hear her stomping up the stairs. They stood there in silence. Jack jumped when he heard a door slam, but Brian and Tom seemed oblivious to it, because it was normal occurrence when anyone left Cody's room. Then they could hear the thumping of music through the walls and floors.

"He always does this!" Brian rolled his eyes, and walked out of the kitchen leaving Jack and Tom alone.

This was the opportune moment Jack was waiting for to ask him about the box on top of the chest of drawers. He looked down at his bare feet, shifting them as he put his thoughts together.

"Tom-I saw my world, in that box in the guest quarters. How do I get back?"

Tom looked at Jack with a chuckle, but seeing the seriousness in the pirate's eyes, his own face grew quite serious. "I'm sorry Jack, but there's no way to get back-at least that I know of… That _box_ you speak of is called a television. It projects moving images…" He thought for a moment, there were no pictures in the 17th century, but there were paintings. "It's like tons of paintings shown in procession…"

Jack's face fell and he let out a huge breath he'd been holding. He nodded with some understanding. "I see…"

Jack turned to walk out of the kitchen. "Jack…" he turned. "I really am sorry…"

Jack nodded and exited the kitchen.

Once alone in the kitchen, Tom sighed and leaned back against the counter. He rubbed his hands across his face wearily. The day had been quite long, arguing with Cody, baking cookies, arguing with Cody, meeting Captain Jack Sparrow, a pirate from the 17th century, and fighting with Cody. He pulled his hands from his face, and took a deep breath, preparing to go up and argue with his eldest son once again. He jumped nearly a foot in the air and would have screamed had his vocal chords worked, when he turned around.


End file.
